....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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