Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
