Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
