I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
