I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
