Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
