Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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