His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
