he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
