4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
