he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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