Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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