you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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