Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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