a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
