I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
