I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
