And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
MIDGETS
????
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
