I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
