There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
