So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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