I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
