Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
