i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This baby is an asshole
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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