Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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