i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
