is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
