how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize