How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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