It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
