I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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