They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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