Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
