You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
