She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
