some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
