woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize