I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize