Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
