thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
