we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
