this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
