Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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