I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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