that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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