Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
