im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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