If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
