She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
