grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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