It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was CRYING into my vagina
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
