I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
