we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This house was built for laser tag.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
