There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
