Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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