you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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